Views from the corner

May 25, 2008

Just confused on who to trust

Filed under: relationships, work — Tags: , — marley howards @ 8:41 am

Have just been promoted at work two weeks ago. We are 7 on the team and we have a goal for every two weeks.  I thought my team was a very competent one as they went through a gruesome scrutinizing of the personnel people and intensive training for the job.  But, within 2 weeks of work, almost half got sick, and the remaining people performed at a mediocre level.

At the end, I have to augment for all their backlogs and as proof, I am working on a weekend, all alone here in the office, even the janitors were all on their rest days.  I know the first time is always hard, but the work load was reasonably light,  we were all on flexi-time and they have been trained.  Makes me wonder if this will be the situation for all time.  I can’t do things alone, but by the looks of it,  I have to do things by myself. Don’t know who to trust for fear that they might just fail me.

May 17, 2008

Reasons why women may prefer less attractive men

Filed under: relationships — Tags: , , , — marley howards @ 3:40 am

A recent research published by the Journal of Family Psychology found that women are happier with, let’s just say, less than attractive men. I daresay I can attest to this as some of my friends who have made less-than-expected choices in their husbands are contented and happier and the divorce rate versus my friends who married drop-dead gourgeous men is lower.

More or less than 80 couples who had been married for almost a year were the subjects of the research and it concluded that women are happier with their less than attractive husbands. So, I think there is a flaw in the research, maybe couple who have been married for years should have been also a part of it. But then, I am not married,yet, so I won’t take that further.

So, I asked my friends on why are happier with their husbands who turned to be the opposite of what they dreamed of when we were in highschool.

1. There are less insecurity issues

When you have a husband that is not the head-turner type, a woman tends to have less insecurities about how she looks or how presents herself. In short, jealousy is virtually out of the picture.

2. Women experience more humor in the relationship

It seems that less attractive men tend to makeup for their lack of physical appeal by maximizing their sense of humor. Laughter and a more intact common sense are more preferred than toned muscles or six-pack abs.

3. Women are treated on a pedestal more because the men feel empowered because they were accepted for who are they are and how they look like.

These maybe true, but my overall point is, we should not base how a marriage works solely on physical attributes. Men, jaw-dropping or not, can make any relationship work. And a relationship is not a one-man show, it requires the two people to make it work. Also, everyone has an angle or an attribute that can be considered attractive. And if love is present, looks don’t really matter. In a society where we are somehat dictated who is beautiful or not, what should matter is the inner glow.

May 12, 2008

What his first intimacy moves can tell you

Filed under: relationships — Tags: , , , , , — marley howards @ 7:46 am

So you’re getting cozy with each other and you’ve reached the point where you’re cozy in ALL areas.  You have let him into your place.  Now, what can you tell the morning after?  His actions during the early stages of getting it on can give you hints on his ability to be on a long-term passionate relationship.

1.  When you’re on foreplay, he asks if you feel good about what he’s doing.

Hint: His purpose is to please you.  Having sex with a guy who asks questions right away about what you like will get so much better over time and this just means he’s making it perfectly sure it does,

2.  He’s almost too tender when during kissing and oral action.

Hint: Nervousness is creeping inside him, big time.  It’s not that he lacks interest, it’s just that he’s being sweeter than sexier and wants to make you feel how a gentleman he is.

3.  He makes sudden, unguarded requests while you’re at it.

Hint: This signifies that he is comfortable enough with you to open up about his turn-ons.  Be careful though, if it’s too soon, it means that move is a big deal to him and you might have to do it everytime you’re in bed.

4.  He maintains eye contact with you during intercourse.

Hint: He’s so into you. When men locks their eyes on you during this heated moment, he longs for a connection that is beyond physical.

Some of these assumptions are based from actual studies.  And it might just be helpful if we can read their actions when we are, let’s say, sane.  🙂  At the end of the day, what matters is what we feel while doing it. If we’re not comfortable and we feel pain, as in big time pain, then we can say no and our partners must respect that.

May 1, 2008

4 ways to avoid the boomerang kids syndrome

Filed under: family, relationships — Tags: , , — marley howards @ 6:53 am

This post was inspired or to be perfectly honest, by 1 a.m. unannounced visit by my friend since college.  She had a fight with her mom and dad.  She “brought” a friend for dinner and her mom didn’t like that he didn’t eat lobster without any hints that he has an allergy to any seafood, discovered or not.

She’s the same as my age, which I won’t divulge anymore.  Bottomline, we’re both enough to get even a 48 square meter apartment where we can barely move, but at least we’re on our own.  She went solo for two years after college but moved back in when she resigned from her first job.  I agreed that time that moving back in with her folks was the best thing because she did that time for she was out of cash and of anything to last her for a month.

Boomerang kids are those who go back home after college instead of living away from their folks.  Nothing wrong actually, most parents want to see their kids home but after a few months so, it can get annoying in some ways.

But it has been almost 2 years as well since she has been staying with them.  She got a new job a year ago but still stuck there. Her reason, she can save more because she doesn’t have to pay rent.  I somewhat pity her but then she’s right.  But there comes a time we have to spread our wings and fly by ourselves.

So, how do we evade from this dilemma? Here are some ways I did and a few friends of mine did as well:

1. Save from your first day in college

May see old-school but it works, financial shows compute how much we can save if we set aside $10 a day or a $100 dollars a month.  But it really pays to save.

2.  Tag a close friend to stay and share rent with you

You can at least half of the total rent by getting a flatmate. But remember, you’ve got to trust them enough to stay with them.

3.  Initially get a cheaper, yet cozy place

You don’t have to get a grand place on your first time being your own.  A less costly, yet secure enough apartment is a good choice as your first nest, so to speak.

4.  Get a good paying job

Yes, I know this is one of those things that are easier said than done, but then again, if you want to be on your own, get a job that can pay for rent, at least.

Back to my dear, old friend.  In her rage, she swore that sometimes she’d rather be one of those homeless person rather than live with her parents.  In my concern, I blurted out that just move out and both of them are to blame.  The consequences of her partying in college instead of saving up led the way to this.  Thank God, she didn’t get angry with me and actually agreed.  There are a lot of personal reasons why some go back home after college. Some want to lay low after years of hardwork, while some just want to stay close and take care of their parents.  I, for one crave for someone to do my laundry, to be served with hearty meals during dinner and have someone to go home to after a grueling day at work.  But, we have to be independent one way or another.

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